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Screenwriter and director Khalilur Rehman Qamar stirred some controversy recently when he compared men who seek dowries to eunuchs in an appearance on television.
At first, Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar’s opposition to dowries looked admirable because he claimed that doing away with dowries may strengthen marriages based on love.
“I prefer love marriage because I think that is the only way to get rid of the curse of dowries in our society,” KRQ said, starting off very innocently.
But his disparaging likening of dowry-seeking men to the derogatory term “hijra,” which is used to disparage transgender people, exposed a disturbing bias.
He went on to compare males who seek dowries to “hijra,” an insulting term for transgender people. The author of Meray Paas Tum Ho declared,
“Men who take jahez are hijra,” without flinching from sarcasm or regret. I refer to them as that.
“I think men who ask for dowries are na mard,” KRQ continued, implying that she had no regard for transsexual people despite her mistreatment as a minority.
The biggest sin is Jahez. A man is already halfway to love if he doesn’t ask his wife for a dowry.
Even with his flimsy disclaimer, he failed to recognise the hardships of a marginalised people and instead reinforced negative stereotypes.
Not willing to stop at disparaging only transgender people, KRQ continued by giving marriage counsel. He clarified, “Homes were made for women.”
“Why do we have these makaan (houses) that you see today? They have never been useful to men in the past.
A guy has an obligation to maintain a woman in a home so that it might be a joyful place because it is she who makes it into a home.
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